I recently visited a male friend who has a pretty sarcastic/sick sense of humor...very similar to my own :-)  Over dinner we began discussing product naani product samples that I'd sent him to distribute.  Given that he has a shaved head, I asked if he had difficulty finding people with natural hair and/or dreadlocks to hand the samples out to.

He said, "You know lately I've been seeing a lot of people with those things you got in your head."

After glaring at him for hot second, I laughed because I know that he was "jokingly" trying to get under my skin; however, to this day, his reply stays on my mind.  After all, there's often truth in humor.  Maybe the negativity he expressed wasn't merely a good-hearted exchange amongst friends but rather, an actual slight.


Given that we often discuss the significance of natural hair and dreadlocks with respect to employment and family, I figure now it's time to turn the discussion toward relationships.

Read the following comment sent in by a naaniFAM member and then ask yourself the questions below.  Can lyer's love a dread?  Can they fully embrace a natural?  You tell us...SoundOFF!

A True Story
My name is Albert and I love dreads. I had a head full of troll like long natural hair but my wife made my cut it.

She would say, "I never saw you with no hair before.  Honey!...you look like a beast and not a cute one. I hate your big fat face with big hair with that big bush."

So I tried to have it braided. Then she loved me. But soon as my hair would start to fizz like a fuzz ball, the hate would start over again. My head would be sore, red and hurting so there was no love that night or day.  So I just got sick of it all and, cut it off.

Even so the king in me wouldn't let the crown go. So now my hair is 2-inches long.  I just need some ideas, some styles, and some help...something.  This could save my life, my marriage.

I think dreadlocks will work for all. The king in me can come out. My love
can stop being my enemy, and at the job I can relax with the customers and not have to fell like I'm falling apart.
--Albert

Now Ask Yourself
Question 1: Are dreadlocks/naturals ever truly accepted, understood and/or embraced by non-dreadlock'd lovers?  Why, Why not?

Question 2: Are dreadlocks/naturals embraced by non-dreadlock'd/natural lovers as a matter of showing love and affection for the individual rather than the hair (meaning, they still hold on to their negative views but don't express them around you b/c they don't want to hurt your feelings?)

Question 3:  Do people without dreadlocks suffer from "possesion of the 'other'" syndrome? For example, author and professor Bell Hooks alludes to the phenomenon of how some white men temporarily pursue black women to possess "black tail" BUT would never consider taking one home to meet the folks).  Can this type of attitude, regardless of race, also demonstrate itself with respect to hair styles?

Question 4: How is it that someone, particularly a male with dreadlocks natural, can date someone with relaxed hair who has never, will never again consider/be natural? Is having relaxed hair an implicit rejection of "nappy culture" and/or a "nappy" mate?

Can lyer's love a dread?  Can they fully embrace a natural?  You tell us...SoundOFF!