Name:  Deecoily

Zodiac:  Virgo, baby :-)

Relationship Status:  Long time Defacto (10+ years)

Favorite Music Artists:  Jill Scott, Meshell Ndegeocello, Gwen Stefani, Faith Evans
Favorite Songs:  Reasons (oldie but goodie), I like the old time funky stuff and Blues.

Favorite Poems:  "Phenomenal Woman" and "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou, "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe

Favorite Novels:  Everything by Maya Angelou and The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

If you could go back to 1998, what would you do differently?
If I had to do it again I would have just cut it off and started from scratch. It was very difficult transitioning my mind into the wonders of being natural when I had a whole lot of nappy hair I didn't have a clue on how to style.

Who maintains your natural hair (you or a stylist)?
I style my hair myself.  Occasionally I will have a wash & condition in my partner's salon but that's it. And even then I bring my own shampoo and conditioner. I am very picky about my hair. I am paranoid about letting anyone else near it. I am sure if the right stylist comes along I would love to try him/her. If they dare.

How did your family/friends/lovers react to your hair initially? How do they react now?
Well my family laughed at me. They didn't believe for a minute I would let myself be seen with nappy hair. I was the straight hair queen. My hair has always been very important to me. They now say I have simply transferred my straight hair psychosis into a natural hair psychosis. They laughed then but now my mom and both my sisters are natural! 

What problems with your hair have you encountered in the workplace/social settings?
No problems at all from others. The only problems have been with me. When I first went natural I was so paranoid everyone was looking at my head. I was thinking that I would be judged to be unkempt because I didn't have straight hair. My "Blackness" was showing and I wasn't comfortable with that. I believe that lack of confidence was felt by others.

Once I found my place and learned to love and accept what I had been blessed with things went much smoother for me. I no longer care what people think about my choice to wear my hair naturally. And if anyone has a problem and dares speak on it to me, they won't do it a second time.

What do you love most about your hair?
I love the freedom, the beauty, the richness of my hair. The way it feels and the way it thrives on the most basic of things.

What bothers you the most about your hair?
Hats don't fit. And I love hats.

Have you ever colored your natural hair? What were the results?
I tried it once. I bleached the ends and they broke off. I have fine strands which don't take well to being damaged by bleach. I tried a black rinse when my hair bleached out after a summer and all it did was make my hair crunchy and artificial. I haven't done anything like that since. I am sure there are sisters out there with hair that is not damaged by coloring. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them.

What has having natural hair taught you about yourself/others?
It has taught me that we are fed lies from an early age about our hair. All over the USA and the world. No matter what level of social, economic, education you are --- chances are you have been told very early on in life that your hair needs fixing. It needs straightening because it is unmanageable and ugly. We are taught stereotypes about our natural-haired sistren which we take to heart and believe. The thing about it is, though, we don't even realize they are lies.  We believe what we say and do to our daughters is the best thing for them.

The whole *skin/hair/features are better the closer they are to Eurpoean* is wound up and buried so deep within our collective psyches it is difficult to dig our way out. Most times we only do when we are caught in a situation that forces us to. Our hair is falling out - we have alopecia - we have developed allergies to chemicals, etc. When we do dig out and finally realize the truth (which does not happen overnight), the sense of freedom and the weight lifted off our shoulders is overwhelming. When you get rid of the self-defeating oppression in your mind it is very liberating. It was for me. From the emails I get from women who have also experienced a great freedom after going natural, I know it is not just me or just a hundred but thousands who experience this. It's wonderful.

What's your advice to those interested in going natural?
Go slow, question your mind, think about what you're thinking about and why you're thinking that way, read, don't fear yourself. Your journey is your own and don't let anyone tell you any different.

Have you ever considered growing dreadlocks?
Yes. I think about it. I think locs are beautiful and the ultimate statement in natural hair. I am at a place right now that isn't consistent with locs because I feel the need to keep my hair loose. Once I lock, it will be forever.

How does the word "nappy" make you feel? 
I am *over* the negative connotations of the word. The basis of the word nappy was never negative. Our perception of our hair is what was negative. So any descriptive term of something negative will be negative!

Our tightly textured hair is similar to the nap in carpets, the nap in wool. I have sheep, and I will tell you this, my hair feels exactly like their wool, on the surface and underneath. So in truth, my hair is nappy. It has no negative or positive connotation. It's a description. And an accurate one at that. Wooly is considered to be negative, so is frizzy, kinky. and they all describe my hair.

What's good hair? 
Good hair is healthy hair.

What's bad hair?
Bad hair is unhealthy hair.

If your hair had a name and a personality, what's its name and describe its personality.
One name. Fierce. That's what my hair is.

What's Nappturality.com?
When I started Nappturality in 2002, it was for a few friends I had met online who, like me, were tired of the fact that on the web there was nowhere to go if you had nappy hair and were HAPPY that way. All the sites we found were either about how to get rid of naps, how relaxing wasn't that bad, good hair/bad hair, or not very well put together at all. I started it as a place where we could go and not hear talk about relaxers, straightening, etc. I had no idea there were so many women out there who felt the same way.

It is such a beautiful thing to know that Black women are finally beginning to realize that they are beautiful in their own right, that their beauty is unique, and it's original. You can't get any better than that.

Blessings to you all.