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get real black folk!

no@spam.com (naanis naturals) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:00:00 EDT

i was chatting with an older, white male friend and invariably the topics of obama, race, discrimination, etc... came up during our discussion. i know, i know..."why in the hell am i talking to an old white man?" answer, he's not old, he's older. and he's cute, intelligent and he can handle a bit of verbal sparring.

our differences couldn't be greater; he, an ivory, catholic, successful republican male and i, an ebony, spiritual, GORGEOUS independent (he would say liberal) female. is it any wonder that words like "racist" and "left-wing nut" regularly enter our discussions? so what's the appeal?

honest and candid communication. having a grown person's conversation with a "typical white person" that doesn't end in a fist fight is refreshing. but back to the point...

what made today's discussion pertinent is that for the first time, i think we stopped being our affiliations and related as people...as human beings. prior to this although our discussions were relatively respectful except for the fact that he saw me as a person who blames whites for all the ills of black folks and i saw him as a white person who just doesn't get it. so then it dawned on me, help him "get it..."

black self-hatred and interracial discrimination
my ivory friend dates ethnic women. i don't gather that he dates outside of his race exclusively but he's definitely down with the swirl. so i asked my friend to recall how his black female partners wore their hair. i asked him if they wore it straight. i then asked him if he ever wondered why. naanifam have you ever wondered why?

there are some who would look at any black woman with straightened hair as a sign that she is embodying self-hatred. now we can debate on whether or not this is true but let's be real, if God didn't make us with straight hair, why do we covet it? it's a question that we should ask ourselves and if we don't, how do we expect white folks to understand the complexities of the black hair issues that they themselves created? it'd be like asking you taking responsibility for the African tribesman that sold his African captives into slavery for a few trinkets.

when i brought this up to my friend i'm sure he was puzzled. i mean what was my point? what's wrong with straight hair? and that my friends is the same argument that black women make to justify their monthly self-mutilation ritual...yeah i said it...MUTILATION!

so i explained to my friend that if it's true that black women who straigthen their hair hate themsemselves then "the majority of the black women you dated loathed themselves and POSSIBLY some of them only dated you to rid themselves of that loathing...POSSIBLY some of them wanted to have mixed children; not because they wanted YOUR babies but because they most likely view lighter as better. i'm sure you were attracted to them for their confidence but how confident could they have been if the way they choose to project themselves screams self-hatred?"

now here's where he and probably a good number of you with conked hair will say that they didn't hate themselves. ok, you might be right...but i don't think so.

did you know that black hair straighteners are equivalent to putting drano on your head? the ph scale goes from 1-14. 7 is distilled or purfied water...it's ph balanced. 1.8-2.3 represents the ph acidity of a lemon. 12-13 represents drain cleaner and guess what else? black hair straighteners better known as relaxers.

so i explained to my friend as i'm explaining to you, what this means is that every 4-6 weeks, black women across the world put drain cleaner on their heads....on their heads...you know, that thing that houses their brains! the chemicals in hair relaxers are so toxic that unless your scalp is fairly dirty and/or unless you coat your scalp with some sort of oil, in less than 10 minutes it will strip the top layer of skin from your scalp. if this isn't mutilation i don't know what is.

and here's where you say, "mutilation, that's going too far." too far? really? hmm, i don't need to sit in a vat of ammonia to make my point do i? oh by the way, ammonia's ph is 10. hmm...relaxers are stronger than ammonia...damn!

the point i was trying to make to my friend is that the next time he sees a beautiful, confident, black woman with straight hair to think about the above reality and ask himself "how much LOVE could she really have for herself?" knowing what he knows now, knowing what you know now, is she still beautiful or does she represent the problem within the black community that enables racism to thrive?

that damn white doll
Roger Smith writes in Intraracial Division and Black History that

"Studies by Kenneth and Mamie Clark showed just how much of an influence white society has had on black children. The Clark's gave black children as young as three a choice of playing with a white doll or a black doll. The result was that nearly all the black children selected white dolls and when they were asked why they did, most said, " 'The white doll seems nicer and prettier, with better coloring.' " As black children grow older, they eventually turn towards their own culture but usually with a certain amount of confusion."

but that was back when brown was battling the board of education. what about now? do black children still prefer white dolls to black dolls? surely things have changed. watch the video...

my friend watched this video and he argued a terrific point. he said, so who's fault is it? you should be blaiming their parents. they're kids. they had to learn it from somewhere. and you know what, he couldn't be more on point.

but forget about who started it...that's a game left for school yards and those under the age of 10. as i stated to him and i'm now stating to you, it should make you sad to see that experiment. it should make you sad to see a child hate him/herself. yes, there are issues within the black community...clearly. but those issues were started by the white community. those issues are exacerbated by the white community. those issues are exacerbated by the black community. but this prolific self-hatred is not limited to the black community.

"According to a survey by the American Society of plastic Surgeons (ASPS), the number of minorities getting plastic surgery quadrupled between 1997 and 2002. And in 2005 Asian-Americans had 437,000 cosmetic surgeries, up 58 percent from 2004." ¹

source: http://www.weblo.com/domain/available/psg1.com/

clearly, a message has been sent. whites are the messenger and minorities have adopted and embraced this message in such a way that mutilating oneself is not only considered normal, but it's actually preferred to the natural, God-given reality.

so who's at fault? the people who have indoctrinated minorities with a European ideal or the idiots that continue to buy into it?

this is not a stupid is as stupid does moment. there are so many problems within minority communities that we need to do some house cleaning before we hold massa responsible. facts are, if minorities as a whole did not allow themselves to be labeled or subjugated by their past or present, then there would be a greater chance at achieving equality in this world. in other words, minorities need to rise up and take their rightful place...not above or below but to be who we are...period.

now that doesn't mean down with the white man. what it does mean is that collectively, we stand a chance, divided, we fall and ironically, "together" means all people, whites included.

minorities and women couldn't have achieved the reversals of white priviledge and fortune without whites themselves. they marched with us, they sat-in, they wrote and helped pass the legislation...they were active participants in ushering in a more equal world. the civil rights movement was successful on so many levels as it made it possible for the obama's of the world to i dunno...run for president and stand a chance at winning. but the civil rights movement has fallen short in obliterating inequality because it failed to address the true source of discrimination.

the civil rights movement ushered in political changes but hatred and discrimination reside in people's hearts and minds. you can't initiate social change by looking more white, dating outside your race, having black friends, listening to certain types of music, changing your voice when you answer the telephone... to truly obliterate racism, to eliminate "the race card," we have to get real with ourselves and with the other. we have to be brave, honest and true to and with ourselves.

get real black folk!

how in the hell do you expect a white person to appreciate or understand the level of torment that you went through in making your decision to go natural or grow dreadlocks when you yourself couldn't recall what your natural hair felt/looked like prior to transitioning?

get real black folk!

your children aren't dogs. stop shaping their noses. stop looking at their ears to see if their color will turn. stop calling up women who just gave birth and asking them what color the baby is. stop mutilating your children by putting toxic chemicals on their heads and teaching them that the moment they came out of the womb, something went horribly wrong.

get real black folk!

education is good. college is good. being articulate is good. and sometimes "white" music has a snazzy beat. i mean who'd a thunk it, Slash from Guns N' Roses is half-black. there's soul in rock if you open yourself up to it and don't regard BET as the beacon of rhythm.

get real black folk!

your nose isn't too wide. your lips aren't too big. your butt isn't better than the white chick whose back looks like it's caved in.

get real black folk!

stop buying your black babies white dolls. what in the hell is wrong with you? every christmas my aunt would damn near fight to get my cousin and i the RARE black cabbage patches that were flying off the shelves back in the day. my family didn't teach me black pride. they just didn't let white things into our house. our sugar was brown! (a joke)

get real black folk!

"ghetto" is not a cherished african american tradition. being loud and obnoxious in public places may get you a free meal but it also makes you look like you just stepped out of a movie in black face.

get real black folk!

you's a nigga. i'm a nigga. did that white boy just say nigga? make up your damn minds. either it's acceptable or it ain't but no matter what, stop using it around your kids. gosh darnit to bleepin heck, you're a freakin parent. i didn't hear "nigga" until i went to college. in fact, the first time i let the word befall my lips i said, "nigger." my friend had to correct my pronunciation...naani, it's "nigga not nigger"...and for that i am a better black person. (sarcasm)

get real black folk!

stop calling people who won't or don't vote for obama racists and uncle toms. maybe they just like old white men. i do! (joke). when someone asks you why you're voting for obama, say "i agree with his stance on the socio-economic issues facing the united states." you gotta admit that sounds a whole lot better than "it's time for a black president and if he doesn't win, i'm moving to canada."

get real black folk!

black women, get a freakin' grip. unwanted pregnancies...our fault. cheating men...our fault. dead beat dads...our fault. we either stand together as self-respecting women or we allow the a-holes within the male species to walk all over us. they can't put their peeter weeter in unless you open up. if he's involved or married, you can't have him. if he doesn't want to use a condom, he's got cooties...run! if we had more self-respect, if we didn't lay down, they'd stand up. we can get ours and still have self-respect. but if in the process of getting yours you're lamenting about how black men are dogs, just remember, you created them.

get real black folk!

do your damn hair! just because you're natural, just becuase you're embracing you does not mean you should walk around looking unkempt.

get real black folk!

put on some clothes...that fit. just because you can squeeze into it and it comes in your size doesn't mean it's meant for you. on the real, i don't want to walk in the club and see your black meat.

get real black folk!

black men black men...lord, this requires a whole notha blog.

i could go on and on. the point is, we gotta be real with ourselves. we now play the primary role in shaping how we go forward. sure, there will still be discrimination but the world can't embrace us until we embrace ourselves.

now if you've read thus far you're probably wondering how in the hell did i set the older white man striaght? i put it in terms that i felt would hit home for him...

women make approximately 70% on the dollar to what a man makes. i told him that as a successful, self-made man, he will be sure to teach his children that they rise and fall on their own accord. he will also make sure they have the best education and start in life.

i said, what if one day one day heidi-lynne who's graduated from the best university, made the best grades, got the best jobs, comes to you and says, "dad, i got passed over for another promotion even though i'm the best at my company." or "dad, john gets paid 30% more than i do and i have seniority. what would you do?" would you tell her to pick herself up by her bootstraps or would you finally realize that wow, minorities really do have to work harder and longer just to get screwed?

folks, discrimination is real. discrimination will not cease to exist until we all demand more of ourselves and those around us. wake up and hold yourself accountable first, hold your neighbor accountable, then go after the powers that be.

¹Source: Are Asians Increasingly Undergoing Plastic Surgery to Look White? http://www.alternet.org/story/49894/

naanimodel soulsista october 2003

no@spam.com (naanis naturals) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Nickname: SOULSISTA

Zodiac: Taurus

Favorite Artists: Nina Simone, Prince, Meshell Ndegeocello, Indigo Girls, Tracy Chapman

Favorite Songs: Currently anything by Tracy Chapman's album New Beginnings

Favorite Poems or Novels: Alice Walker's - Trust in the Absolute Goodness of the Earth, Ishmael - Daniel Quinn

How was your hair styled before you went natural or locked?
Relaxed (with a bob) then braids, but they slipped out, they were a hot mess! then fro, then locked.

What did you like/dislike about your previous hairstyle?
I HATED PERM BURNS!!!!!! while i like (brainwashing) the sleekness of a fresh burn oops perm, i hated the scabbies.

How long have you been natural/had locks?
natural -2 years
Loced almost 2 years

Why did you decide to go natural/grow dreadlocks?
I had just finished school and started working. it occurred to me that everyone else was natural and why couldnt i be! so one thanksgiving, i went under the knife. my hair dresser put a texturizer in to "soften my look" she thought that being natural was such a hard, masculine look...that did nothing to ease the transition. anyway, the fro grew and grew and i began to trust my hair enough to realize that it was a-ok! so after the fro, i loc'd it. i always wanted locs and i think its about learning patience and temporarily sacrificing vanity to respect yourself. i thank myself everyday.

How did you go natural (i.e. cold turkey, growing it out...)? Why did you choose this method?
long permie, short permie, texturizer, fro, locs!

How did you start your locks (palmrolls, twists, braids...)? Why did you choose this method?
comb twists. that's what the lady did....

Who maintains your locks/natural hair (you or a stylist)?
I normally do. But I am lazy and have become an afro-dred. As my babies have become longer, they have become more difficult to maintain. I did not even know I had a build up problem until Tubby brought it to my attention.

How did your family/friends/lovers react to your hair initially? How do they react now?
Tubby was my inspiration. I have known Tubby since grade 10. When she went natural, it was inspiring. When I took the plunge friends and family were supportive. I do think they thought i was crazy...but they didn't say anything. hmmh

What problems with your hair have you encountered in the workplace/social settings?
NONE

What do you love most about your hair?
I love the way it just loves the sun and hangs and grows

What bothers you the most about your hair?
lint, lint, and more lint.....

Have you ever colored your natural hair/locks? Do you still color it? What were the results?
I just had my hair dyed to camouflage the buildup. I am delighted with the results!

List 3-5 of your favorite styling tips.
Side ponytail, parted in the middle, deep conditioning in the wintertime.

If you could lock all over again, what would you do differently?
I WOULD STAY AWAY FROM RAW SHEA BUTTER (on my loc's that is!)

What has having a natural/locks taught you about yourself/others?
Patience. Locking has taught me patience.

What's your advice to those interested in going natural/locking?
Trust the universe and the Creator, that you are beautiful and your hair is beautiful just the way it is.

What's your list of do's and don'ts when it comes to natural/lock care?
Cover your head when you sleep so cat hair won't jump in your locks.:)

If your hair had a name and a personality, what's its name and describe its personality.
it would be the girl next door. naturally beautiful, looks ok day to day but cleans up well!!!!!

Anything else you'd like to share?
I am happy with me and my hair.

~ End October, 2003 Journal ~

Big-Ups to naaniMODEL SOULSISTA for being courageous enough to share her dreadlocks story. Hopefully her story may help many others prevent common dreadlocks product usage mistakes.

SOULSISTA suffered from a multitude of problems. Initially she used 100% raw shea butter to twist and maintain her locks. Although shea has excellent hair and skin properties, using it as a stand-alone treatment on dreadlocks is a no-no. As you can see, there was tons of build-up trapped inside SOULSISTA's locks...not to mention lint.

This is important to note because many people argue against using beeswax while not realizing, it has little to do with the ingredients themselves but the concentration in which they are used. So something like shea butter, when used improperly, can create excess build-up.

This doesn't mean that you should stay away from shea butter altogether. It means you need to find a trusted product that uses all ingredients in ratios that will not cause build-up on your hair. In doing so, a good product can contain shea butter or beeswax for that matter, leave no residue and result in healthy hair.

The funny thing is, SOULSISTA didn't even realize that the problem existed. She never looked at the back of her locks and had no clue that there was lint, residue or random cat hair thanks to her sister's visiting pet.

In addition to build-up, SOULSISTA is also a victim of infrequent maintenance. She had a couple of two-headed dragons...remember dragons with those who prefer manicured lock's are usually due to neglect...possibly in the initial stages of development where the end of the lock may unravel and nothing is done to retwist them so the ends lock and develop individually while the root remains intact.

We began with an anti-septic to cleanse and help break-down the butter that had become trapped in SOULSISTA's locks. Spritzing a single lock with antiseptic, we vigorously rubbed the single dread together then blotted it with a clean cloth (something that wouldn't leave lint).

We then repeated this procedure until we'd finished her entire head. We rinsed thoroughly with very warm water to wash-away any loosened residue.

The procedure worked but that still didn't solve the dll appearance of her locks. Upon closer inspection, we decided to schedule a second appointment to apply a temporary color.

Temporary colors are easy to use and because they contain no peroxides or ammonias, they're great for novices. We chose a shade that was similar to her natural color, processed as directed.

We then shampoo'd and deep conditioned her hair with naani's naturals products. Towel-dried and then set it with LOCK'D DOWN Dreadlock Butter.

The results are amazing and the photos really don't do SOULSISTA's hair justice. Not only do her locks look healthier and longer, but they feel and smell great. Hopefully she can keep it up :-)
--naani

Are You Fruzzy? Dealing with Frizzy Dreadlocks

no@spam.com (naanis naturals) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:00:00 EST

A few months back I was chatting with naaniMODEL jOjo. I was explaining how frustrating my locks had become. My locks are about 8 years old and beyond the fact that I've had do a little doctoring on them to even them out (one side grows faster and is/was about 6 inches longer than the other...yeah, I know...WEIRD) and colouring a few years back, I haven't done anything special to them.

I maintain my locks with naani's naturals products, I don't have any issues with build-up or dryness. I had seborrhea (a dry scalp condition) back in 2002 and prior to switching to naani's naturals but that issue has all but disappeared as the result of using milder, natural products and my scalp is now healthy. Despite the fact that my hair is healthy, I've always had a problem with EXTREME frizzies. When other folks would talk about how frizzy their locks were, I thought we were speaking on the same level. Some years ago I realized that the majority of people with locks don't get and probably never will get what I'm putting down.

So this article is for my Frizzy & Fuzzy brothas and sistas (I shall call them Fruzzies) who love their locks, who would never cut them, but at times want to scream from the roof-tops because the frizz won't stay at bay.

The photo to the left is of Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley. I recently developed a major crush on him so I'm posting this photo not only because he's HOT! but also because he is a perfect example of the FF Crew.

Notice the extreme amount of loose hairs at his scalp and down the length of his locks. It's important to note that these loose hairs originate FROM THE SCALP, not the locks themselves. This isn't a matter of cutting the loose hairs away because doing so would result in bald patches throughout the Fruzzy's scalp.

The false assumption would be that the loose hairs are the result of free-forming. I can't tell you how many individuals with locks and locticians themselves are unaware of the issues concerning Fruzzies. Imagine having masses of hair that refuse to lock. I myself tried to lock some of my fruzzy hair. I braided the fruzzies together. What I'd been doing prior was braiding the frizzies down the locks but after each and every shampoo, the fruzzies would free themselves and I'd have to start all over again.

By braiding the frizzies into individual locks they would've resulted in very small locks. Only problem is, the braids would never stay intact. It's as if the fruzzy hairs themselves refuse to be lock'd down. The photo to the right demonstrates the most problematic area of my fruzzies. If you didn't know better, you'd think I didn't have locks at all.

There's a certain ethnic hair type that's resistant to locking. People with this hair type generally have thick, ultra-soft hair with a loose curl pattern. For those of you stuck on stupid, they're hair isn't quite "good hair," but it's not the typical cottony, tight coil pattern associated with people of African descent. These individuals can wear their loose natural hair in curly styles with a little prodding. Where someone with a very loose curl pattern ("good hair") can wash and go and end up with wavy coils, Fruzzies can obtain a similar look with the use of products such as No More Frizzies Alcohol Free Aloe Vera Jelly or Styling Gel or Curly Custard.

The following photos demonstrate the difference between Fruzzies and those who have "typical" dreadlocks. Allow the page to completely load before clicking an image in the photo slide show. Once the page loads, click any image. To proceed, click the top right corner to proceed or left corner to go back. Photo descriptions are at the bottom of the slide.

Where Fruzzy men and Fruzzy freeformers tend to not have issues with the amount of frizzy hairs that surround their locks, those of us who opt for salon or manicured dreadlocks find caring for our hair to be extremely frustrating. In short, Marley looks sexy as hell...and his locks look great too :-) but he's a man. The Fruzziness gives his locks character and style. I, on the other hand, most women and those individuals who work in professional settings that opt for salon/manicured dreadlocks find that the fruzzies make us look HOT! as well...a HOT MESS!.

I mentioned that my locks are 8 years old. I took this picture about a year ago. This is what my locks look like after shampooing. Early on in my lock journey naani participated in a trade show in the DC area. A friend of mine with locks tagged along to help with the venture. We both fell in love with some hemp hats that we'd be retailing. She put on a hat, I put on a hat. We'd both done our hair the day before. We both removed the hats at virtually the same time and that's when I knew I was a Fruzzy.

Her locks looked just as they did before she put on the hat. Mine on the other hand instantly had a halo of fruzzy hair. The motion of lifting the hat upward caused the frizzy hair to loose from my locks and voila!, instant Fruzzy.

The hat incident aside, my fruzziness is also apparent anytime my locks are in the presence of moisture. Whether it be a humid day or working out at the gym, the attack of the fruzzies is a constant battle. I used to work out (I'm truly a "tubby" now) about 4-5 days a week. Day by day, the fruzzies would increase in number. The past couple of years has been increasingly difficult for me. When I do other people's hair, the result is absolutely beautiful. I can turn dirty, crusty, dry locks into a masterpiece, but my own is another story.

The photo to the left was taken about a year ago. I braided my locks and then undid them braids a few days later. If you look at the above photo, you'll notice that the fruzzies have been minimized. Thus, in terms of technique, I know how to incorporate the loose hairs so that I achieve the salon locks I desire. Only problem is, it takes me about 9 hours to do my locks. That includes shampooing, deep conditioning, twisting, braid/roller setting but 9 hours is a bit much wouldn't you agree?...especially when you do your hair every two weeks.

A while back I discussed my frustration with naaniMODEL jOjo. He questioned whether it was due to over-twisting. We argued over it for a while until he showed me a picture he took from a Damian Marley concert. When I looked at the photo I felt an instant connection with Marley. Then I remembered I was supposed to be looking at his locks and not at how HOT! he was and I felt an even greater connection. I told jOjo that Marley's locks were like mine and given that Marley was a free-former who infrequently twists, the issue can't be that I over-twist. The issue is my hair texture, not my technique, not my products...

I'm writing this article to let other fruzzies know they're not alone. I'm also writing it because if you ever see me round town with frizzy locks, you'll know why. My hair is what it is. Sometimes I just want to wash and go like everyone else.

Despite my frustration, my saving grace has been naani's naturals products. Lock'd Down Dreadlocks Butter enables me to get through to my next shampoo. The products along with the braiding frizzies technique means that even a Fruzzy like myself can achieve the salon dreadlocks look as evidenced in the photo to the right.

Finally, I'm writing because I want folks who visit this site to understand that the people who make naani's naturals products USE naani's naturals products. The information on this site is written from a personal perspective. The advice we give is learned from personal experience. We've been there, done that and when we say something works, it works.

So the next time you ask, "what products should I use on my hair or skin," I would hope that the answer would be apparent. Unfortunately, for some it's not so I'm saying it now. I wouldn't be in this, I wouldn't have made this site my life's work if I was just in it for the fame or the money. I'm not famous, nor am I wealthy. I do this because since I went natural and subsequently grew dreadlocks, I've had to work my ass off to make my hair look its best...naturally. Sure, it may take me a little longer than most but in the end and thanks to naani I'm lock'd for life!

much luv,
tubby

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