Meeshe recently wrote a post about how all of the trials and tribulations we face are a part of God’s plan and she used President Obama’s story to make her point.

Unlike Meeshe I’m not the type that our lives are already written out by some cosmic being. In a way, doesn’t that go against like almost every story in the Bible? I mean at the end of the day, we have a choice. A choice to be good or bad and if we have a choice then there’s more than one possible outcome. And if that’s the case, how can each one of those outcomes be the “right” outcome?

There are times in my life where I want to know “why me?” I feel like I’m running uphill, on a treadmill, in a snow storm, in high heels. Or how about the times when I make the perfect plan only to be thwarted? It’s as if the roadblocks God or whatever sets before me aren’t the size of pebbles…they’re mountains, not molehills.

Where I don’t think God has it all planned out, I do think that the obstacles set before us are a part of a greater plan. They may not seem like it at the time because hey, it sucks to fail. I also believe that stronger you are, the more stubborn, tenacious and determined, the bigger the obstacles set before you. Why? You can’t stop a bull by merely asking it to slow down. Some of us need brick walls to stop our forward momentum, to make us be silent and wait.

I think it’s in those moments of silence or perceived failure that if we’re honest with ourselves, we realize that the failure helped. Sure it hurt, sure it will take a long damn time to recover from it, but when we consider the alternative, wow, we dodged a bullet.

So right now I’m down but this is one time in my life where I am thanking God for saving me from what could’ve been the worst mistake in my life…and I’ve made plenty. This time, in an effort to change my situation and finally experience what I thought would result in happiness, I moved too quickly and thought too little. I may suffer for years due to my hurriedness but at the end of the day, when I am still and silent, I am secretly counting my blessings.

It’s a weird feeling to feel up and down at the same time. Is this balance or is it just the tip of one very large iceburg that’s just waiting to get in my way?