I must start this post by saying that I have nothing against most women with natural hair but some of you people get on my damn nerves. In comparison to some sisters with relaxed hair who may not have a clue what they’re doing to themselves, natural women can be amongst the most nappy adverse, ill-informed people on the planet.

I went to a spoken word last night with a mixed bag of friends. After we all got together for a little drink, a little smoke and what was supposed to be an uplifting conversation. The night was going well. We were discussing some of the poets, books we’ve read, Obama and what not. We started discussing hair and that’s when everything but picks, combs and brushes were being thrown.

One of the lil girls, a natural, Nappy Headed Heffer, began to disparage dreadlocks. She said, and I quote:

I thought about growing dreadlocks but I couldn’t do it. I have to wash my hair!

I’m normally a laid-back person but I couldn’t help myself. Maybe it was the drink but all I could think to say was “YOU B*TCH!” After the oooows, aaahs and oooohs I said, “What the hell makes you think I don’t wash my hair!?”

First, I don’t appreciate being called a b*tch and you’re not going to disrespect me like that. Second, I wasn’t talking about you specifically. Third, I was under the impression that one could not wash dreadlocks.

OMG naanimodel Tubby is Shampooing her dreadlocks? Could it be so?

One? One!? This Nappy Headed Heffer has a bit of book-learnin’ having gone to an Ivy League school and all so I give her props for attempting to elevate the conversation but I was already in the process of taking off my earrings and shoes and passing them to the left hand side.

I tried to compose myself because maybe I shouldn’t have called her out her name but upon fairly quick reflections I said, “HEFFER, YOU DISRESPECTED ME FIRST! I have dreadlocks. I’ve had them for over 6 years so are you not implying that I don’t wash my hair and that for the past 6 years I’ve been walking around funky? You want to sit hear and talk about how messed up White people are for putting out that Obama cartoon and its underlying tone right? Well then, one shouldn’t throw indirect stones and if one does, one shouldn’t be surprised when they’re thrown directly back.”

The conversation went on this way for some time and at the end of the night after hearing what I thought to be elevated people, with natural hair mind you, use terms like “grade,” “high yella” and “good hair,” all I could think is, where my White people? At least when they’re callous, they really may not know any better. What was these heffers excuse?