On Wednesday evening in Kansas City, Missouri da Pohlice were called to a sto’ at approximately 11:30 PM. Cain’t nothin good poppin off at a place in the south, at that time of night with the word “Country” in the name.

The 20 year-old African American female said that after pulling into the market, she recognized her ex-boyfriend with whom she had an 8 month relationship inside another car.

NOTE TO READERS! I don’t care how bad you got the munchies. You ain’t so hungry that you need walk up in a place where any of your “ex’s” happen to be. ROLL OUT! Hell, go to the other “Country” store or try a 7-11 and get a brownie

Anywho, a second man comes up to her car and mush mouths some garbage bout her ex-boyfriend still loving her.

SEE! I told yo ass don’t nothin happen good round midnight at the “Country” sto’. Her momma aint teach her the fundamentals…

EX enters, you GIT. EX-GIT!

So let’s review. She goin to the “Country” store for some papers or somethin. She see her EX-GIT. She pulls in anyway. Her EX-GIT’s dumbass friend just came up to the car doh and made soem hot breath statement bout love. She says, “Well, I don’t love him.”

Oh, so you want to be smart while at the “Country” sto’ at damn near midnight? This is not gonna go well for you.

Gunshots!

SEE! I told her ass.

Her EX-SHE-FORGOT-TO-GIT is rollin up on the back of her car and this fool still firing.

FINALLY sister must have realized…EX…GIT! She drives off.

Now pause for a moment. Is it me or is there something not right wit this woman? HELLO! RE-VERSE!

He is to tire, what gum is to shoe. That’s a SAT question for the teenagers in the crowd.

Up until this point, with the exception of her puling into the “Country” store, after seeing her EX-GIT, talking to HOT-BREATH-MUSH-MOUTH bout love and forgetting the answer to the SAT question correctly, she done everything right. Right? So this is why I’m not one bit surprised when she decides to go back to the “Country” sto.

Lucky for her, them fools is leavin. I’m not sure who called the Po-Po but when they got there, they found a bullet in her hair. IN HER HAIR WEAVE!

Ok, uhm, what? Ok I gotta watch the video. Hold please…

Watched the Video.

Oooooooooooooooh, ok. I get it now. God, I couldn’t finish tellin the story for all the confusion. Now that I’m clear, her’s what’s good…

She done had the hair weave “for yeeeeeeeears.”

No wonder it’s bullet proof.

No wonder she ain’t thinkin clearly.

That thing got how many years of stank in it? I’m sure that hardly anything can penetrate it now. In a few more years it’s gonna be able to file for emancipation and start its own beauty store.

All jokes aside, the two assholes were apprehended. Sis is safe.

Seriously, who put in her weave? How tight was that damn cap? And dude, you’re not supposed to use Gorilla Glue on your weave…okaaaay?