White Charm: Black Men, White Women
Retaining Culture
President Obama’s inauguration marked a proud day for many Americans. I, like most of the country if not the world, set captivated as the events of the day unfolded. Call me catty but in addition to the majesty, there were moments where I was prompted to grab my cell, dial my best friend and gossip.
“Why is Jill Biden wearing bare-kneed boots?” I said.
“My sister said the same thing. I don’t have a problem with the boots, it’s cold. Her dress is too short to be wearing with those boots though,” my friend replied.
Bidens Dress
Moments later I called again. “Can someone tell me why…WHY Jill Biden has on a short sleeve dress on in DC…in January…on inauguration day? She’s from Delaware. She should know better.”
My friend laughed and said, “You and Vaughn (her sister) think alike. She just said the same thing.”
This went on and on but no moment sparked as much controversy as the following question. “Is Craig Robinson (Michelle Obama’s brother) married to a White woman?”
Turns out, the answer is “yes.” But I wonder why it matters? I mean, I myself have dated a White man so who cares if his wife is White? Why the double standard?
BLACK MEN, WHITE WOMEN
In the past, the argument was that as a Black man attained higher levels of education, his peers and colleagues invariably grew paler. So it’d stand to reason that in such circles, one has a greater chance of finding love outside one’s own race.
Take the case of Frederick Douglass who married twice. First to a Black woman (Anna) and then to a White one. Anna was illiterate and shared little of Douglass’ intellect or interests. Two years after she passed, Douglass remarried a White abolitionist (although he may have been hunching a different White woman prior to Anna’s death but I digress).
Helen Douglass, Second Wife
Douglass’ marriage to his second wife was one where we can see an intellectual and philosophical bond that may not have easily been attained by marrying a Black woman during that period in American history…a period of slavery, segregation, ill or no-education for Blacks as a whole and gender disparities.
Today however there are far more sisters seeking and obtaining higher education. So where years ago finding a Black woman of the same intellect and social standing may have been difficult, today, sisters are eclipsing brothers left and right. Thus if it’s not intellect and barring the obvious factor, love (what the hell ever…men ain’t running to the alter so don’t give me that love crap), what makes a Black man gravitate toward non-Black women?
IF IT’S WHITE, IT’S ALRIGHT
![arrives during the premiere of "The Hunting Party" at the Paris Theater on August 22, 2007 in New York City.](http://fromgrandmaskitchen.com/boilingpoint/wp-content/gallery/black-celebrity-interracial-couples/montel-williams-with-wife.jpg "arrives during the premiere of "The Hunting Party" at the Paris Theater on August 22, 2007 in New York City.")
For many Black women the above images are maddening. How many of you screamed, “WHY?!?!?!?”
I wonder, if the idea of having a White woman…a non-Black woman on one’s arm is akin to sporting a Rolex? Are White women like charms where Black women, for some men, are akin to wearing a Swatch watch…reliable but socially boring?
THE RACIAL POWER OF MICHELLE OBAMA
What if Obama were married to a White woman?
What if Obama were married to a non-Black woman?
What if Obama were married to a lighter-skinned Black woman?
Whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, her color, the depth of Michelle Obama’s color matters.
What does it say to Black women, Black girls across the world that arguably the most powerful man in the world is married to a Black woman? And not just a any Black woman…a chocolate one? Ok, mocha-choco-latte…whatever, she ain’t “high yella” or “red bone” if you wanna go there and if you didn’t, I just did.
Where successful and inspirational Black couples exist in our communities and within our own homes in some cases, nothing does this Black woman’s heart good than to see a happy, healthy Black couple in the public eye. In the end, I’m not sure how Michelle’s color impacts or will impact other Black females or males for that matter. I just hope that for those men who have chosen to forsake, abandon, degrade and label Black women, the Obama’s serve as a wake up call. You ain’t gotta go White to “make it,” show you’ve “made it” or prove you matter.
Tags: discrimination, interracial dating, Obama, Race
35 Responses to “White Charm: Black Men, White Women”
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April 12th, 2009 at 1:26 AM
I don’t believe that more educated brothers date non black women. If you look at all the people you have on your photeos. They are either TV personalities, ball players or politicians. You don’t have to be very educated to do any of these things. So many of these brothers are sell outs and they know it. They know a true sista will tell them about themselves daily. Which sistas should do daily. So many of the sell out brothas get high profile jobs because they are nonthreatning black men. so they say. Their are brothers married to sisters who have much better educations ( Barack, Greg Mathis, Joe Brown, Tom Joyner, and Micheal Eric Dyson ETC). This stereo type has more to do with white america picking and choosing brothers to showcase. There are a lot of educated paid brothers married to white chicks true. But I don’t believe there are as many as a lot may think. My wife and I noticed that TV doesn’t like to show black men’s black wives too much. Especially in sports. There are way more black atheletes married to black women. You want see the wives unless you do your own research. Kevin Garnett just was married to a beautiful caramel skinned sister. They never talked about her are showed her the way they do Kobe Bryant and Tim Duncan.
April 24th, 2009 at 2:06 PM
i accidentally came across this interesting article but tired-out article about ‘black’ men with ‘white’ women and if you’ll allow me, i have a few observations for your consideration.
frederick douglass was certainly ‘black’ nearly 200 years ago. but that is only because ‘white’ america invented and enforced the extraordinarily racist ‘one-drop rule’ that said if you have any ‘black’ in you, you’re just plain black, like putting a drop of arsenic in a bottle of water, you are polluted, unpure, inferior, not ‘white’ anymore. oh, and by the way, you were also then property which could be bought and sold- very fiancially beneficial indeed.
mr. douglass was in actuality as ‘white’ as he was ‘black’, as he was of a ‘white’ father and ‘black’ mother. true, but these were the days of slavery and mr. douglass was ‘black’ because ‘white’ folk said so.
2009 and ‘black’ women point to Barrack Obama as a shining example of a ‘black’ man who succeeded with a ‘black’ woman as a mate. how do you reconcile your pride in our new president’s ‘race’ with the fact that he is indeed the product of a ‘black’ man and ‘white’ woman who got together to produce this inspiring leader? place yourself at his birth 47 years ago and ponder what you would have thought looking at the newborn. proud ‘black’ man in the making?
you point to harold ford jr. in this article, but do you know the tortured family history of his ‘race’?
my point is, look into yourself and the sick and twisted history of ‘race’ in this country and realize that it was ‘white’ folks with no morals who came up with the ‘one drop rule’ to institutionalize racism, dehumanize ‘black’ folks, all for financial gain.
but it is now ‘black’ folk, maybe especially ‘black’ women, who perpetuate this one drop rule as much or more than ‘white’ folk do now or ever did, and as you so unknowingly and repeatedly do in this article.
disturbing on so many levels is the allegation that ‘black’ men are selling out, looking for status, or have other cynical motives when choosing a relationship with a ‘white’ woman.
‘black’ women asserting that ‘black’ men should belong exclusively to ‘black’ women, the insination that ‘black’ men are or should be the exclusive ~property~ of ‘black’ women, leaves a very bad taste indeed.
when we continue to enforce, through social pressure, the ‘one drop rule’, we continue what the slaveholders started, and with the same result. it will take ‘black’ folk to finally end this powerful, institutional legacy of slavery still keeping people down today.
hard and counter-intuitive as it may seem, we have to stop claiming everyone with some ‘black’ in them as being plain old ‘black’. if we allow folks to be a range from ‘black’ to ‘white’ instead of going along with the ‘a drop of ‘black’ pollutes the pure ‘white’ theme, only then can we get beyond and move forward.
April 26th, 2009 at 9:33 AM
Why does it matter so much? I think it just shows the times, that people are moving beyond race and hence interracial relationships are becoming much more common. There are also alot of white men with black women, or asian-african couples, for example. Its becoming so much more common. I agree that it is definetely a positive thing for michelle obama to be a strong, intelligent, well educated black woman, and i think it can only be a positive thing for america and the rest of the world. But i think that interracial relationships are great and to anyone that is in one, good luck to you and good for you for not conformingg