White Charm: Black Men, White Women
Retaining Culture
President Obama’s inauguration marked a proud day for many Americans. I, like most of the country if not the world, set captivated as the events of the day unfolded. Call me catty but in addition to the majesty, there were moments where I was prompted to grab my cell, dial my best friend and gossip.
“Why is Jill Biden wearing bare-kneed boots?” I said.
“My sister said the same thing. I don’t have a problem with the boots, it’s cold. Her dress is too short to be wearing with those boots though,” my friend replied.
Bidens Dress
Moments later I called again. “Can someone tell me why…WHY Jill Biden has on a short sleeve dress on in DC…in January…on inauguration day? She’s from Delaware. She should know better.”
My friend laughed and said, “You and Vaughn (her sister) think alike. She just said the same thing.”
This went on and on but no moment sparked as much controversy as the following question. “Is Craig Robinson (Michelle Obama’s brother) married to a White woman?”
Turns out, the answer is “yes.” But I wonder why it matters? I mean, I myself have dated a White man so who cares if his wife is White? Why the double standard?
BLACK MEN, WHITE WOMEN
In the past, the argument was that as a Black man attained higher levels of education, his peers and colleagues invariably grew paler. So it’d stand to reason that in such circles, one has a greater chance of finding love outside one’s own race.
Take the case of Frederick Douglass who married twice. First to a Black woman (Anna) and then to a White one. Anna was illiterate and shared little of Douglass’ intellect or interests. Two years after she passed, Douglass remarried a White abolitionist (although he may have been hunching a different White woman prior to Anna’s death but I digress).
Helen Douglass, Second Wife
Douglass’ marriage to his second wife was one where we can see an intellectual and philosophical bond that may not have easily been attained by marrying a Black woman during that period in American history…a period of slavery, segregation, ill or no-education for Blacks as a whole and gender disparities.
Today however there are far more sisters seeking and obtaining higher education. So where years ago finding a Black woman of the same intellect and social standing may have been difficult, today, sisters are eclipsing brothers left and right. Thus if it’s not intellect and barring the obvious factor, love (what the hell ever…men ain’t running to the alter so don’t give me that love crap), what makes a Black man gravitate toward non-Black women?
IF IT’S WHITE, IT’S ALRIGHT
![arrives during the premiere of "The Hunting Party" at the Paris Theater on August 22, 2007 in New York City.](http://fromgrandmaskitchen.com/boilingpoint/wp-content/gallery/black-celebrity-interracial-couples/montel-williams-with-wife.jpg "arrives during the premiere of "The Hunting Party" at the Paris Theater on August 22, 2007 in New York City.")
For many Black women the above images are maddening. How many of you screamed, “WHY?!?!?!?”
I wonder, if the idea of having a White woman…a non-Black woman on one’s arm is akin to sporting a Rolex? Are White women like charms where Black women, for some men, are akin to wearing a Swatch watch…reliable but socially boring?
THE RACIAL POWER OF MICHELLE OBAMA
What if Obama were married to a White woman?
What if Obama were married to a non-Black woman?
What if Obama were married to a lighter-skinned Black woman?
Whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, her color, the depth of Michelle Obama’s color matters.
What does it say to Black women, Black girls across the world that arguably the most powerful man in the world is married to a Black woman? And not just a any Black woman…a chocolate one? Ok, mocha-choco-latte…whatever, she ain’t “high yella” or “red bone” if you wanna go there and if you didn’t, I just did.
Where successful and inspirational Black couples exist in our communities and within our own homes in some cases, nothing does this Black woman’s heart good than to see a happy, healthy Black couple in the public eye. In the end, I’m not sure how Michelle’s color impacts or will impact other Black females or males for that matter. I just hope that for those men who have chosen to forsake, abandon, degrade and label Black women, the Obama’s serve as a wake up call. You ain’t gotta go White to “make it,” show you’ve “made it” or prove you matter.
Tags: discrimination, interracial dating, Obama, Race
35 Responses to “White Charm: Black Men, White Women”
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July 18th, 2009 at 6:23 PM
This is fucking ridiculous. End of discussion.
As a girl who happens to be white I would like to be considered something higher than a rolex thank you, like, oh I don’t know, A HUMAN?!
Color should have nothing to do with anything and this whole stupid blog angers me. Go date a white guy, black girls. We don’t care.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:44 AM
I find the above article partially true. Firstly, let me say that michelle obama gives hope to men (all men) when it comes to black women (also all women), as by her, it is proven that there exists the necessary sophistication required by a powerful man as a companion. Not only, an intellectually congruent partner but one capable and challenging. The black culture was liberated not so long ago. And in truth, there are aspects of the feminine part of the culture that has to be developed and polished. More independence to the girl, more self-assurance, not so much humility, the audacity to dare and make-it, making-it. All these make mentally, and, physically a more attractive woman. There are not so many such black cultured women presently. There are educated women – no doubt – but most seem lacking and truthfully (though painful) needy. I must say, a “white” cultured woman – even if plain – has remenants of a developed attitude and culture over centuries of relative indepence – mentally, physically etcetera. Time will change all this. The field will level-out and mingle. But to help time. I say to the black cultured woman who is so humble….show me the fire…and i will be yours. In that case this applies to all women as well…I must be fair. Men want excitement and intellect…so do women. My question to you is, did you ever realise that most very well educated and strong black cultured women are married to fairer cultured men?? skin has nothing or little to do with it. Don’t blame the guys…fix what needs to be fixed, and you women will be beating guys off again, this time, better men than before – black, white, yellow, green, indigo, purple, orange, violet, cream…which ever – like it should be.
I stop here..this could go on for day…
November 18th, 2009 at 4:06 PM
I also accidentally came across this article, and I have to agree with the comments that ‘iloozyun’ made. Why are a lot of black women almost hostile either toward white women for ’stealing’ their men, or toward black men who ’sell out’ and marry a non-black woman? As if black men as a whole ‘belong’ only to black women. White women are not ’stingy’ with white men. Laying claim to the property of another person or race is exactly what happened back in the day of slavery. We are perpetuating this!
Barack and Michelle Obama are shining examples that you can go as high as you want, regardless of your race, you just have to believe in yourself and be determined. Now, there are no more excuses about, “The white man is keeping us down”. That is ridiculous. You are keeping yourself down by participating in the perpetuation of all these stereotypes.
And what is with us segregating ourselves again? It took years to get laws passed so we could come into public places and be treated equally with whites, but now we have BET, Ebony Magazine, Black History month, etc. If white folks even thought about trying that, they would be called ‘white supremacists’ and have Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson knocking down the door. So why do we think we can do that? That is not equality, that is a double standard. And dont think that white folks owe us for what their ancestors did. Every white person I know is appalled at the fact that slavery happened and now they feel like they have to walk on eggshells to make sure that we are not offended by anything they say or do. “oh you hurt my feelings, I am going to sue you for being racist because I want to show America how weak I am, and that all I really want is a hand-out because I think I deserve it and I don’t really want to work to achieve my goals” We are a strong people, and we need to step up and act like it, because this is what we are looking like to the world. Just a bunch of whiners.
I am not defending white folk. What they did was wrong and there are still a lot of racists out there, but they are no more racist than we are towards whites. If freedom and equality is what this country is about, then stop taking freedom and equality away from them so we can have more. There is plenty to go around for both peoples!